


A Single Voice in Silence

by princesskiwifruit



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Battle of Hogwarts, Depression, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV George Weasley, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-07 21:41:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11067696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesskiwifruit/pseuds/princesskiwifruit
Summary: They knew what they were getting into. They weren’t stupid. They were prepared to die for this. What George wasn’t prepared for was to go back to his old life alone.Can be read as a prequel to the Waiting Room series, but also on its own.





	1. The Battle Part I

**Author's Note:**

> I started this one some time ago, and I don't know how frequently I will be updating, because I'm currently working on another story as well.

They were sitting around a table, taking notes, Lee, Kingsley, Fred and George.  
“This is the list for this week’s deaths,” Kingsley said gravely, handing each of them a copy.  
“God, this job is depressing,” George groaned as he looked at it.  
“Nah, it’s actually pretty cool,” Lee said. “And it’s great you’re filling in for Remus. How is he by the way, have you heard from him?”  
“He’s over the moon,” Fred said, grinning.  
Kingsley rolled his eyes. “You know that jokes do get old with time?”  
“Not this one,” Fred said.  
“Well, he is great. Very happy, obviously. I told him to get back here soon. I miss having other adults around.”  
“We are adults,” Lee said indignantly.  
“Act like it,” Kingsley grumbled, but a smile betrayed him.  
Lee, Fred and George all jumped at the same time as they felt something in the pockets of their trousers. All of them extracted a fake Galleon and started to examine it.  
“Harry’s at Hogwarts,” Lee read aloud.  
“Preparing to fight,” Fred finished and looked up with a grin on his face. “Finally!”  
Kingsley got to his feet. “You two,” he pointed at Fred and George, “go to your family and tell them what happened. I’ll alert the rest of the order. Lee, try to get a secure broadcast out.”  
They all scurried off.

“How many people do you need?” Kingsley asked.  
Fred and George looked at each other. “How many can you give us?” George asked.  
“Is twenty OK?” Kingsley asked.  
“Make it twenty-one and we have three per passage,” Fred answered. “Although,” he turned to George, “do we need to guard the Whomping Willow? There’s no other entrance to the Shrieking Shack.”  
“I wouldn’t risk it,” George replied. “If they do find a way, they could attack the ground troops from behind.”  
“True,” Fred admitted.  
“I can cover it,” George offered.  
“Yes, we should definitely let the professionals handle the important spots,” Fred agreed. “I’ll take the statue of the one-eyed witch.”  
“Course you will,” George agreed. “All right then, let’s split into groups.”  
In the end, he was in the Whomping-Willow-detail together with Susan Bones and – to his great annoyance – Fleur. Bill, who was going to join the troops on the ground, had insisted that Fleur stick with someone in the family to keep an eye on her. Apart from not wanting Fleur around, George also thought that Bill was doing his wife a great injustice thinking she wasn’t able to take care of herself. He’d seen her in action during the Triwizard Tournament after all.  
The Great Hall began to empty as everyone made their way to their posts.  
“Hey, Fred!” George called over the tumult. “Send a message if you need help.”  
Fred scoffed. “In your dreams, Georgie!”  
“See you later!”

They were almost out of the castle, when George heard someone call his name. He stopped and turned around. Lee was sprinting towards him.  
“What?” George asked as Lee came to a halt in front of him, slightly out of breath.  
Lee grinned cheekily and without a warning he took George’s face in his hands and kissed him full on the lips.  
They broke apart after a few seconds.  
“Just in case we die tonight,” Lee explained, while George just stared at him. “Anyway, need to go. Fred’ll wonder where I am.”  
“Hey, wait!” George called. Lee, who was already half-way up the stairs, turned around. “This doesn’t give you permission to get yourself killed.”  
Lee grinned. “OK, I won’t.”  
George turned around and continued his way towards the Whomping Willow. Susan was wolf-whistling next to him.  
“’oo was ‘ee?” Fleur asked.  
“Just a friend.”  
She raised her eyebrows. “Wasn’t ‘ee at ze wedding?”  
“Yes,” George answered curtly. 

Fred took position in front of an empty plinth together with Lee and Hannah Abbott. The one-eyed witch’s statue had left her place to join the battle. Through a nearby window they could see protective charms being put in place or reinforced by witches and wizard on the ground and on the towers. They’re secret passageway was the one that was most likely to be used by the Death Eaters, because it was so easy to access from Hogsmeade, and it would lead them directly into the heart of the castle. Kingsley Shacklebolt had assured them that several members of the Order were positioned nearby, in case they needed support.  
The corridors were full of people hectically running around, students, teachers, villagers, members of the Order, and a surprising lot of people Fred had never seen before.

It was quiet near the Whomping Willow. Relative to the ground they had to cover, there weren’t a lot of fighters outside, so they were scattered across the grounds in groups of two to four, which left George, Fleur and Susan almost isolated. It was eerily calm around them.  
“Any of you have a watch?” Susan asked.  
George looked down at the watch he’d gotten for his seventeenth birthday.  
“One minute left,” he said.  
Susan let out an audible breath. She straightened up and gripped her wand tighter. George found himself doing the same.

“Anyone have a watch?” Hannah asked.  
Fred looked at the watch he’d gotten for his seventeenth birthday.  
“Ooh,” he said excited as a late statue came galloping past them. “Fifteen seconds.”  
Hannah pointed her wand at the secret entrance; Lee pointed his at the closest window.  
“Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, now.”  
Nothing happened.  
“Well, that’s a bit anti-climactic,” Fred stated. Lee grinned.

At first, they only heard a distant sound that they couldn’t have described. The air around the seemed to vibrate. George felt sure that was due to the Protective Charms being under attack. They saw sparkling lights in the dark night sky. Almost like fireworks. Just a lot less entertaining.  
It took only a few minutes before the first Death Eaters emerged from the Forbidden Forest. George, Fleur and Susan were perfectly positioned to overview the scene. There were only a handful of Order-members to hold the Death Eaters off, who outnumbered them by far. George looked around at the other two. They weren’t supposed to leave their post, but they couldn’t let their fellow fighters alone. They ran towards the fight.  
George struck up a duel with one of the masked Death Eaters. Fleur and Susan did the same. George managed to stun his opponent quite quickly.  
“Good boy!” he heard a booming voice. He turned around. It was Aberforth, who had just sent a Death Eater unconscious to the ground himself. “Damn it,” he growled, looking past George’s head.  
George turned around. A couple of Death Eaters were advancing towards the castle unhindered, as everyone on the ground was now battling.  
“I should take care of that,” Aberforth called, sprinting away, while George started to duel another masked opponent. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Susan follow Aberforth.  
This Death Eater was clearly better at duelling than the first one George realized when a Killing Curse missed him only by a few inches.  
After a few minutes of merciless fighting, Fleur joined him, and they finished the Death Eater off together.  
“Thanks,” George called to his sister-in-law. He turned around to get a picture of what was happening around them. Next to him, Remus Lupin was duelling Antonin Dolohov, who wasn’t wearing a mask.

It was almost fifteen minutes into the battle and still nothing exciting had happened. Hagrid had come running passed, as had Professor Sprout and Neville with some weird plants, but apart from that, all was calm. From outside they could here distant bangs and shouts.  
Fred sighed. George would never let him hear the end of it if he got into real fights, while Fred just sat inside the castle waiting. He watched Lee hopping up and down on his feet, playing with the hem of his robes, and anxiously looking out the window.  
“Hey, Lee!” he called. “Not scared, are you?”  
“Never,” Lee grinned.

Fleur’s scream ripped the night apart as a green light engulfed Remus for a split second before he fell to the ground. And then George and Fleur themselves were sent to the ground, too.  
When they got up again, they saw Dolohov and two other Death Eaters running towards the castle, the rest of the Order members on their tail.  
Remus Lupin was lying next to them on the ground, a determined look still upon his face, his eyes empty. Remus, who had once saved George’s life while they had been chased by Death Eaters on brooms through a dark night sky just like tonight.  
“Do we just leave him here?” George asked, his voice higher than it should have been.  
“Yes,” Fleur said, surprisingly calm. Only the slightest quiver in her voice betraying her.  
They looked around. Everywhere across the grounds small battles and duels were taking place. People were running around, screaming. Falling to the ground. Some getting up again. Others not.  
“This is a bloody suicide mission,” George said.

“Maybe we should join the ones that are outside,” Lee suggested after a while. He was nervously pacing up and down the corridor, throwing anxious looks out of the window.  
“No,” Hannah said firmly. “We’re supposed to stay here. They haven’t managed to enter the castle yet. If we leave our post, the Death Eaters will have a clear path inside, and Harry’s counting on us to keep them out of here as long as possible.”  
She was right, of course she was. But Fred didn’t like waiting inside either. He was a man of action.

They weren’t even near the Whomping Willow anymore. They were standing between statues and living people, fighting the Death Eaters with everything they had. Sometimes curses flew from one of the windows or the top of a tower at a Death Eater. They had to be careful not to get hit themselves. The only goal was not to let them enter the castle.  
George didn’t take much notice of what was happening around him. He focused on who he was currently duelling, and at the same time tried to keep an eye on Fleur. Somehow, they managed to stay together in all this chaos. But she was looking out for him just as much, and after about an hour of fighting, though it was difficult to tell how much time was passing, George knew that neither of them would have still been standing without the other.

During the first hour, the most exciting thing that happened was two rather dumb Death Eaters trying to enter through the secret passageway. Lee, Fred and Hannah stunned them quickly and shoved them back into the passageway.  
But after about an hour, they heard a massive crash.  
“What’s happening?” Hannah asked.  
Lee opened the window he’d been watching and stuck his head out. He quickly pulled it back inside and shut the window again. “They’re inside the castle,” he informed them.  
Fred rubbed his hands together, excitedly. “All right, then. Let’s get to work.”  
Within a few moments, the castle filled with people. They deserted their post. It didn’t matter now, anyway. He lost sight of Lee and Hannah in the chaos, but found himself duelling next to Percy a few minutes later.  
“Finally,” he called over to his brother, as he sent a Death Eater flying down the stairs. “We were getting bored up here.”  
Percy didn’t have time to respond, his opponent was sending one curse after the other flying around Percy’s ears. A second Death Eater came and struck up a duel with Fred. They rounded a corner. Three jets of light from different wands than their own came flying at the Death Eaters they’d been fighting. Fred turned around to see that they came from Harry’s, Ron’s and Hermione’s wands. The mask of the Death Eater Percy had been duelling flew off. It was Thickness.  
“Hello, Minister!” Percy called, as he sent a well-aimed jinx at Thickness. “Did I mention I’m resigning?”  
“You’re joking, Perce!” Fred called.  
Thickness toppled over and collapsed onto the floor.  
Fred turned to Percy, grinning. “You actually are joking, Perce. I don’t think I’ve heard you joking since you were –“  
A loud blast. He was thrown into the air. And then it was over.

They had entered the castle at some point. George had seen Ginny at one point and tried to reach her, to tell her to go somewhere she was safe.  
“Aberforth!” he heard Fleur call. “’Ave you seen Susan?”  
Aberforth, who was on his way towards the Entrance Hall, stopped and turned around.  
“Who’s Susan?” he asked.  
“Susan Bones,” George said hastily. “The Hufflepuff who followed you at the edge of the forest.”  
“Oh,” Aberforth’s eyes darkened. “She fell.” He hurried off again.  
And George and Fleur didn’t have much time to be horrified.

They were battling in a corridor on the first floor. George had no idea what time it was, but it felt as though they’d been fighting for days. George’s legs and his wand arm were shaking, his voice seemed to grow higher with every incantation he uttered. They were losing, and he knew he wouldn’t make it to sunrise. And Fred would be so angry if he died without him.  
His wand flew out of his hand. He stumbled backwards against the wall and slid down. A Death Eater was standing over him, her wand pointed at his face. She had lost her mask. He could see her face. It would be the last thing he’d ever see.  
And then there was a voice reverberating from every wall. Lord Voldemort calling his followers back.  
The Death Eater standing over him retreated.  
And all George kept thinking was: How dare you take my heroic death away! After what I went through tonight, I deserved this!  
Next thing he knew, Fleur was next to him, putting her arm around his shoulders, because he was shaking uncontrollably.  
“You ‘ad me scared,” she said. “Bill would ‘ave never forgiven me, if you ‘ad died.”  
George nodded. Fred would laugh his head off if he could see me now, he thought.  
“Come on,” she said, offering her hand and pulling him up to his feet.  
They met Professor McGonagall in the Entrance Hall.  
“Everybody’s meeting in the Great Hall. We’ll treat the injured there, and try to move all the bodies inside, as well.”  
“We should get Remus,” George found himself telling Fleur. “We’re the only ones who know where he is.”  
She nodded in agreement.  
They stepped out into the cool night-air, and made their way across the ground to the edge of the forest. They found Remus’s body without trouble. Fleur conjured a gurney They lifted him onto it and carried him back to the castle.  
He supposed they could have used magic, and make him float next to them. But even though his every muscle ached, he was glad for the labour. He felt like Remus deserved that much. Remembered how his former teacher had supported him on the broom while he was bleeding out. How he’d promised George he would get him home safely, and had kept that promise.  
The nearer they got to the castle, the more George realized that there was next to no chance that his whole family had made it through the battle. The thought had been hovering on the edge of his mind during the whole night. But there had been more urgent things to think about. Now, he realized that as soon as he walked through the doors to the Great Hall he would know. And he could never go back from there. He wondered, if he might be an orphan from now on, if he would have fewer siblings. Or be a single twin.  
When they entered the castle, Bill came running up to them.  
“Oh, thank Merlin!” he called, throwing his arms around his wife.  
“Bill,” George said. His brother looked up to him over Fleur’s shoulder. “Are the others in the Great Hall?”  
Bill nodded. His jaw was set and he was hugging Fleur much tighter than necessary. “Ron is still missing. We don’t know where he is.”  
“And the rest?” George asked.  
Bill didn’t answer. He had just seen who was lying on the gurney between them. “No,” he pleaded.  
And George couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t stand watching his brother mourn his friend and not knowing. He lowered his end of the gurney, Fleur did the same, until Remus was lying on the ground, and George could walk away from him. To the entrance of the Great Hall.  
It was packed. The dead lay in the middle, the living were gathered around them and along the walls. In one corner Madam Pomfrey was treating the injured.  
He stepped inside and looked around until he saw a group of red-haired people gathered around a body. He felt his feet walking forward while he took in every single face that was standing or kneeling around the body. Until he knew who had to be the one they were shedding tears for.


	2. To Win a War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George doesn't die.

Kneeling beside his dead twin’s body and knowing that this was the end.  
No more jokes and no more laughter. No more pranks, no more business plans and new inventions. Never again a joke shop full of laughing customers. Never again a Weasley dinner in an overcrowded Burrow. No more sweaters for Christmas.  
Voldemort had said it. They would die. All of them. Tonight. And Fred was the first.  
He remembered Fred saying that they could all wear what they liked when he got married. It seemed a lifetime ago.  
None of that either. No weddings, no children. No future.  
But no regrets either.  
It had to be like this. They couldn’t have not fought for this cause. They couldn’t have stood by. This was the only way.  
And he knelt on the hard stone floor and wept for his brother.

His mother was hysterically asking for Ginny, who had disappeared.  
“She’s helping outside, Mum,” Bill told her.  
“She needs to go home,” she sobbed.  
George thought how incredibly cruel it would be to send Ginny home by herself, when all of them would be staying to die.  
“Ron, Hermione?” George didn’t turn around. He knew it was Neville anyway. “Have you seen Harry?”  
No one had.  
“The hour has been up for almost fifteen minutes now,” Neville said, sounding concerned. “But the Death Eaters haven’t attacked yet, and no one knows where Harry is.”  
Hermione and Ron disappeared somewhere with Neville.  
George numbly noticed that the people around him were getting restless, wondering what was going on.  
He didn’t know how much time had passed when someone called: “They’re coming.”  
It was directly followed by yet another speech of Voldemort’s, reverberating from the walls of the castle, so that they could all hear him loud and clear. A gasp went through the Great Hall when Voldemort said Harry was dead. As soon as the cold voice subsided, everyone seemed to be running around.  
“Move the dead. Move the dead!” someone yelled.  
“Why?”  
“So they don’t get trampled on when we fight, idiot!”  
George got up as Bill and Charlie lifted Fred, to carry him closer to the walls.  
I’ll see you soon, Freddie, he thought.  
He felt someone’s hand brush against his own.  
“I’m sorry,” Lee said.  
George didn’t know what to reply.  
“We’re going to die, aren’t we?” Lee said.  
“Yes,” George answered.  
“But not without putting up a hell of a fight.”  
George felt the corners of his mouth twitch. “It’s actually a pretty cool way to go, don’t you think?” he asked.  
Lee looked down at him. His jaw was trembling. “It is,” he agreed.  
“I’m sorry. I need to be with my family.”  
Lee nodded.  
George ran after Percy who was leaving the Great Hall together with the other fighters.  
A mass of black-robed people had positioned themselves in the courtyard. The defenders of Hogwarts were pouring out of the castle. George heard screams. First McGonagall, then Ron and Hermione. And then his sister.  
George and Percy came to a halt behind Ron and Hermione. They saw the limb body in Hagrid’s arms.  
“Well, fuck,” George found himself murmur. From the corners of his eyes he could have sworn he saw Percy flinch as though he was about to tell George of for swearing. But he seemed to pull himself together. George found his mouth twitch again. What the hell was wrong with him? This wasn’t funny. This was the end.

Only it wasn’t. He didn’t die that night. Some hours later, when the sun had already risen, he lay down in one of the Gryffindor dormitories, still alive. Because they had won. And the last thing he remembered thinking before his sluggish and exhausted mind sank into blissful sleep, was how upset Fred would be that he had missed Voldemort’s downfall and their mother finishing off Bellatrix Lestrange.

He awoke not many hours later. His head aching from being woken too soon by too much noise. It took him a few moments to realize why he was at Hogwarts. Around him, his older brothers and Lee were getting up. George did the same, wishing he had clean clothes to change into. He followed the others wordlessly down towards the Great Hall.  
The dead were still lying along the walls. Percy immediately steered towards where Ron was sitting beside Fred’s body on the floor, eating porridge.  
“Ron,” Percy snapped, “what the hell?”  
“Sorry,” Ron mumbled. “But Mum wouldn’t go to bed until I promised her I’d stay here with him, and I was starving. I haven’t eaten in ages.”  
“Go, eat at the table,” Percy said sharply. “I’ll stay here.”  
Ron got up. “You hungry?” he asked George, eyeing him apprehensively.  
George didn’t answer. Somehow, he couldn’t take his eyes off Fred’s motionless face.  
“Come on,” Ron mumbled, pulling George behind him by the sleeve to the Gryffindor table.  
“What’s happening, Ron?” Bill asked when they sat down.  
“Chaos,” Ron answered. “Harry and Hermione have left for the Ministry about half an hour ago. I said I’d join them. Everyone who is prepared to fight a bit more is going there to deal with the Death Eaters. Then there’s an information squad. They’re trying to get the news about what happened as quickly and accurately to everyone in the country. Ginny and Luna joined them. Professors Sprout and Flitwick are in charge of informing the families of the people who died. Otherwise, it’s all pretty unorganised.”  
“What’s going to happen to the bodies?” Bill asked. “Shouldn’t they be moved somewhere, I don’t know, more quiet?”  
Ron nodded. “McGonagall said some Healers are going to come soon and transfer them to St. Mungo’s.”  
“Why?” Charlie asked.  
“Kingsley’s orders. He wants them to be checked for how they died, to help with the Death Eater trials.”  
George was still watching Fred, wondering what the Healers would do with him. Beside Fred, Percy was crouching, hugging his knees.  
“Where are Mum and Dad?” Bill asked.  
“They went to Auntie Muriel’s. I think they need some time alone together. I had to promise Mum someone would stay with Fred. She refused to leave his side while we were sleeping.”  
“I need to go see my parents,” Fleur told Bill. “Zey will be worried sick when zey ‘ere what ‘appened.”  
“Yes,” Bill agreed. “Has anyone informed Andromeda?” he asked Ron.  
“I don’t know.”

Fleur left for France, Bill and Ron for the Ministry, and Charlie accompanied the Healers to St. Mungo’s when they came to take Fred, because he thought his knowledge of magical creatures might be helpful in treating the injured there.  
“Do you want to go home?” Percy asked George, when it was just the two of them in-midst crowds of people bustling around.  
Home. He and Fred had left the shop and their flat above it abandoned, when they had gone into hiding at Muriel’s. They had been sure that the Death Eaters would destroy both after they’d left. And he doubted the Burrow was still in an inhabitable state. The only place left was Auntie Muriel’s and he absolutely refused to call that place home.  
“I have a flat in London,” Percy said, as if he had read George’s mind.  
Great.  
“Or we can stay here. If you prefer that.”  
George didn’t react. It wasn’t technically a question after all. Percy seemed to be waiting for some sort of reaction. When it didn’t come, he cleared his throat, saying “Well, I’m going to go talk to McGonagall,” and went off.  
He came back a few minutes later. “She said, anyone who doesn’t feel like going home or doesn’t have a home is welcome to stay and help rebuild the castle.”  
And so they went to work. George thought that he might be the best man for the job, since he doubted anyone else knew the castle as well as he did. He and Percy worked silently side by side. Cleaning hallways, re-erecting walls, mending pictures or statues, doors and windows. As they had slept through most of the day, evening came fast. Ron, Hermione, Harry, Ginny, Luna and Charlie returned to the castle for dinner. Ron told them that Bill had gone to Auntie Muriel’s to check on their parents. Later that night they sat in the Gryffindor common room and talked about what was happening in the rest of the country. George sat with them, silent and hardly paying attention.  
They all spent another night at Hogwarts. The next day, Luna went home to look after her father, who had been released from Azkaban, Harry, Ron and Hermione went back to the Ministry, and Charlie and Ginny decided to stay at Hogwarts and help Percy and George and the others who were still there.  
They got up early every morning, worked all day until they fell into their beds at night, exhausted. They kept themselves too busy to think much. And anyway, there was just so much to do. Their parents stopped by every other day for lunch. They had started to fix the Burrow and said, they’d be able to move back there soon. Ron, Hermione and Harry still went to the Ministry every morning and came back late at night. Bill was back at Shell Cottage and worked on rebuilding Gringotts with the Goblins.

A few days into the second week, Hermione told them that St. Mungo’s was giving the bodies free, and that the Ministry was going to arrange times for the funerals.  
“Why is the Ministry doing that?” Percy asked. “It’s none of their business! The families should decide when they want to hold the funerals.”  
“We’ve got fifty people to bury, and there’s a lot of overlap with the mourners. It has to be organized centrally or we’re going to have five funerals in one day.”  
The date for Fred’s burial was set for early June. George heard Hermione tell Percy about it, and then got on with his work.

That afternoon, Percy broke down. His wand slipped out of his hand and fell clattering to the ground. He slid down against the wall, shaking and gasping for breath. Ginny knelt down beside Percy and put an arm around his shoulders. George saw her bite her lip. He looked down at them and knew that he should care. But he didn’t.  
Ginny brought Percy to Auntie Muriel’s. George went back to work.  
“It’s no wonder,” Ginny said, when she got back. “He hardly eats anything and he looks as though he’s not getting more than two hours of sleep at night.”  
George didn’t reply.

After two weeks, there weren’t many people left at Hogwarts. Most of them had gone back home or to live with relatives until they found a new home. George’s dad said the Burrow was almost habitable again. Ginny had asked George if he wanted to fix his apartment and shop next. He didn’t know what to answer.

A few days later, they moved back to the Burrow. Hogwarts Castle was almost completely restored. George had even repaired the secret passage way that had been blocked during their fourth year.  
It wasn’t until he was back home that George realized he had stopped speaking. It hadn’t been a conscious decision. Most of the time, he just didn’t know what to say. Then again, everything around him felt so surreal that he wasn’t absolutely sure he would even be heard if he tried.

They started to plan Fred’s funeral. George’s mum asked over dinner, if any of her children had been with Fred when he had died.  
Ron and Percy had. Ron told them about it. Slowly, his eyes fixed on a glass of water in front of him. George saw Hermione reach for Ron’s hand under the table, as he told them about Fred’s last, unfinished joke and about the explosion that had ripped it apart.  
George watched tears rolling down his mother’s face, while his dad laid down his knife and fork, because his hands were shaking too much to hold them. He saw in his father’s eyes a pain he hadn’t previously known was possible, and started to wonder numbly if there was something wrong with him.

“What are you doing?” Ginny asked. George hadn’t heard her enter. He was standing in the creative room of what had previously been his and Fred’s flat, which was now his alone. The store was almost completely destroyed, but the Death Eaters had left the flat untouched.  
Ginny came closer to stand beside George. “Fireworks?” she asked.  
Of course fireworks. There had to be fireworks at Fred’s funeral. Just not explosions. There couldn’t be any explosions. Which was why he had been working for hours now to try and make noiseless fireworks. It wasn’t exceptionally difficult. He and Fred had just never seen the point in making anything less loud.  
“Can I tell Mum and Dad you’re OK?” Ginny asked.  
He nodded curtly, not looking up.  
“Come home soon, will you? The Pygmy Puffs are going berserk.”  
He and Fred had taken the Pygmy Puffs to Auntie Muriel’s when they had had to leave the shop. They had driven her mad. Now they were sleeping on Fred’s old bed, and were very needy. George supposed they had taken his two-week-long absence personal.

George went to all the funerals of people he had known personally. He didn’t count. They were too many by any standard. He saw little Teddy Lupin for the first time at the Lupins’ funeral. He had bright green hair and was gurgling happily in his grandmother’s arms.

He found himself sitting in the first of many rows. Fred was being buried on the Hogwarts grounds like most of the fallen warriors. George saw the bright red casket – Ginny had insisted on the colour. It looked hideous, so naturally, Fred would have loved it – and thought that the idea that his twin brother’s dead body was lying in there was laughably ridiculous.  
It was Professor Flitwick who came to the front and held a speech.  
“There are people who seem indestructible,” he said. “I’m sure you all know someone who seems indestructible to you. In the past year, the wizarding community has lost a lot of wizards and witches who we thought were indestructible. And it’s not until they are gone that we realize that we would have never thought it possible.  
“Fred Weasley was someone like that to me, and I’m sure to a lot of other people here, too. He was one of the brightest students I ever had the privilege to teach. He and his brother George are also tied for the most detentions spent in my office by a Hogwarts student. Two traits of character that had me both wishing they were in my house, and being very glad they were not.  
“I don’t think I need to say much about the Weasley twin’s Hogwarts legacy. I’ve hardly ever known two students to be both so universally well-known and -liked during their time at Hogwarts. They built what can only be described as an empire within only a few years. They made us laugh during the darkest of times.  
“Albus Dumbledore once told our students that there would come a time when they would have to decide between what is right and what is easy. I have seen few people who have chosen the right path over the easy one so often and with such confidence as Fred Weasley did. He was a mischief maker first and foremost, and I feel certain he would want to be remembered as such. But he also was a true Gryffindor: incredibly brave and upright. He never backed down when things got uncomfortable. He stood up for other people, he could be counted on.  
“This war showed us the most terrible things humans are capable of. It also showed us the greatest and most heroic of actions, and Fred Weasley’s count among the latter. He was prepared to die rather than let injustice and cruelty continue.  
“Nevertheless, his death is horribly tragic. He died far too young, and I think we all would have liked to have seen him continue the path he and his brother started on. There was so much potential destroyed in this war, and Fred Weasley had a lot of it.  
“Days like today remind me, and should remind all of us, that no one is indestructible. Everything we hold dear in our lives is fragile. Which is why we have to take care of this world, and of each other. A tragedy like we have seen in the past years can never ever happen again. That is our responsibility. We owe it to all of those who gave their lives to get us where we are now.  
“The wizarding community has lost a truly great wizard. But our loss is nothing compared to that of his family. I wish Fred’s parents and siblings – and especially his twin brother and partner in crime George – all the strength in the world for the times to come.  
“Thank you.”  
George didn’t watch as the silent fireworks went off. He stared at his shoes. He knew what it would look like anyway. He thought about Flitwick’s words and realized that it might just as well have been a eulogy for himself.

They had tea in the Burrow’s garden. George sat between his dad and Fleur, who had taken over for Molly taking care of the guests. Molly herself had gone straight inside after the burial to lie down.  
Bill had set a bottle of Ogden’s Old Firewhiskey on the table, from which most of the mourners poured a bit into their tea. George had touched neither his cup nor plate, and hardly heard Fleur’s fussing – “You ‘ave to eat something.”  
Everyone seemed a bit more relaxed after they had eaten. Maybe it was the effect of the Firewhiskey; maybe they were just glad to have put another funeral behind themselves. Ron asked George if he wanted to join him, Ginny and Harry in a game of Exploding Snap. George ignored him. Ron, Hermione, Harry and Ginny sat down in the grass and started to play, while Bill and Fleur cleared the table and Charlie told Arthur a story about his dragons in Romania in an obvious attempt to fill the silence. George got up and went inside. He found Lee and Angelina sitting on a sofa in the living room. It took him a moment to realize that Lee was crying into Angelina’s shoulder, while she patted him helplessly on the back.  
“Hello George,” she sat softly. He’d never heard her use that tone of voice. “Come sit down.”  
He perched on the sofa next to her. She looked from him to Lee.  
“I, er, I think I’m going to help in the kitchen.” She carefully pulled away from Lee and got up. Lee leaned back, facing the ceiling. Angelina left the room.  
They sat in silence for a while.  
“I told Angelina I lost my best friend,” Lee said eventually. “She said, yes, but that I still had my other best friend. I told her I wasn’t sure about that.”  
George looked sideways to face Lee. Lee sat up, frowning to focus on George’s face. Apparently, he’d had quite a bit of tea.  
“Are you still here?” Lee asked.  
George looked away from him.  
“George?” A hand reached up to his cheek. George felt himself go stiff as a board under the touch. “Please tell me you’re still here,” Lee whispered.  
George hadn’t felt the tension building in himself until it was released when Lee’s lips touched his. He pushed his friend away with such force that he fell down to the floor, hitting his head hard on a small table. George got up and left without looking at Lee, who lay whimpering on the ground. He went up to his room, closed the door behind himself and lay down on Fred’s bed. He set the Pygmy Puffs onto his chest and hoped that would help him to keep breathing.

Later he wasn’t sure if he had fallen asleep or just gotten lost in his own memories of times when breathing had not been something he’d had to worry about. But he was brought back to wherever he it was he was lying with Pygmy Puffs cuddling on his chest – he still didn’t know whether it was reality – by voices in the hallway.  
“Come now, I can’t let you travel in this state. You can sleep in F-“ Arthur caught himself just before the name had slipped out. “In George’s room,” he corrected himself.  
“No,” Lee protested.  
“No,” Arthur repeated. “Well, then we can put up a camp bed in Percy’s room.”


	3. Ginny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Self-harm and thoughts of suicide.

George falls ill sometime in autumn. His body is finally rebelling against him mutilating it for the past few weeks. He has been dragging his wand tip across his skin, while the bones crack softly beneath it and all sorts of colours bloom across the skin from where the wand has touched them. He finds them beautiful. At first it’s just a blotchy red, but after a while it becomes blue and green and finally yellow before it fades again. And it seemed the only way for him to feel anything at all, to be sure he’s still alive, even if living is not the word he would use to describe his existence. Until now. Now he feels every inch of his body very clearly without having to do anything. He lies on the sofa in the living room, unable to get up, while heaves of pain take over his body, making him shiver or grasp the blanket in his fists, choking up his breathing, his back arching. His mind is a loud and busy place and he can’t escape it. It’s not dull and foggy as it was until now. He can’t hold on to the pictures and noises that course through it. Just as he can’t grasp an understanding of the people who enter and leave the room, of the voices filling it, or the hands and wet cloths touching his forehead and cheeks.

One night when the pain is a bit less blinding, and he lies exhausted and still, he realizes that Percy is sitting with him. They look at each other for a few moments. Percy looks so much older. George isn’t sure whether that is because they didn’t see each other for two years before the battle or because Percy has aged so much in these past months. George didn’t pay attention. And he isn’t sure he can bring himself to care about it too much. Percy has no business suffering. Percy, who abandoned his family. Percy, who didn’t even show up when their father was lying in St. Mungo’s, fighting for his life. Percy, who caused both their parents so much grief. Percy, the traitor, the coward. Percy, who put himself and his career above everything else. Percy, who was with Fred when he died and who didn’t deserve that.  
“I know,” Percy says, even though he doesn’t, “that I have no idea how you feel.”  
Damn right you don’t, George thinks as pain shoots through his temples. He almost winces. “I only know how I feel, which is beyond words. And I know that it’s so much worse for you.”  
Percy screws up his face and begins to cry. And George wants to slap him even though he can’t move a muscle, because Percy doesn’t get to cry over Fred as long as George can’t. But then it dawns on him that Percy isn’t crying for Fred. He’s crying for George. That’s when George realizes that he’s dying. The relief washes over him, completely unexpected. He didn’t know he longed for this until now. It relaxes his muscles, where he didn’t know they were tense. He’s sinking into the soft cushions of the sofa. Full of pain, but bursting with the realization that this will pass, that there will be an end soon. He feels hot tears running down the side of his face into his hairline.

His mother is sitting by his side. She wants him to eat breakfast. But he won’t. He won’t do anything that will keep him longer in this world. And besides, the thought of it alone makes his stomach turn. He doubts he would be able to keep anything down.  
“Do you remember when Percy had dragon pox?” his mother asks. She doesn’t expect an answer. “You must have been around five. His throat was so swollen he had difficulties swallowing. You and Fred were teasing him so much about it. But one night you came downstairs on your own. I think Fred was already asleep. And you asked me if Percy was going to starve if he wasn’t able to eat anything. And do you remember what I answered you? I looked you in the eyes and asked you if you honestly though anyone under Molly Weasley’s roof would ever be able to die of lack of food.” The flicker of a smile crosses her face. “And you grinned and shook your head.”

Sometime later it’s Ron sitting there. He has a bruise below his left ear, probably from his work at the Ministry. He’s pale and his eyes are a little red and puffy.  
“George can you hear me?” he asks. George closes his eyes and doesn’t move. He can hear him. But he’s not sure he wants to.  
Ron sighs. “Fuck. Well. Listen, Mum and Dad are talking about writing to Ginny. To let her know what’s going on, so that she can come home. We can’t do this to her, George. She’s dealing with so much shit already. You heard her scream at night over the summer. She was tortured, and she already lost one of her brothers. This could break her. She was always the one closest to you two.”  
George hears it, and he wants to care. Because it’s Ginny. But how can he stop her from breaking when he himself broke a long time ago? How can he ease her pain when his is beyond her imagination or understanding?

There’s a hand moving relentlessly over his hair, again and again. He knows it’s not his mother’s. Whenever it touches the skin of his forehead it feels less soft than his mother’s hand. He opens his eyes with immense effort. It takes him a while to focus on the face above him. His strength is fading.  
It’s his dad. He closes his eyes again, concentrating on the stroking movement of his father’s hand. He doesn’t remember when he was last stroked like this by his father. It must have happened at some point in his childhood, but George can’t pin one memory down. He knows his mother’s touch. Remembers it well from when he lay on this very sofa after losing his ear.  
“When your uncles died,” his father says, his voice cracked and not much more than a whisper, “I thought your mother might die of sadness. And I was never more grateful that we had you kids than at that time. You made her smile, and you gave her a reason to get up in the morning, and she had you to love and to care for.  
“I used to think the worst thing in the world was losing a child. It’s not. It’s close, but the worst thing is seeing your child in pain, and not be able to do anything about it. Not being able to reach them or to give them hope. Losing you would be the hardest thing yet. But if this is the only way for you to find peace, we will let you go.”  
The last thing he remembers is the warm feeling of knowing that at last someone understands.  
When he comes around later, his father’s head is lying next to his hand. He lifts his hand even though it takes all the strength he can muster and places it on his father’s hair, gently moving his fingers across it.

He doesn’t open his eyes again. He hears his mother and father in the next room talking about writing to Ginny.  
There is a memory of the worst night if his life up until the night of the battle. In his fourth year, after Professor McGonagall told them that Ginny had died in the Chamber of Secrets. He didn’t sleep that night. He thought of things to say to Fred, but there were none. He cried into his pillow for hours until Percy came and told them that Ginny was alive and well, rescued by Ron and Harry from the chamber. He was so exhausted from grief that he had hardly any emotion left to feel happy about it until the next day.  
He remembers being reminded of that feeling while he sat in Grimmauld Place awaiting news about his father from St. Mungo’s, and sitting in the hospital wing beside Ron after he had been poisoned, waking up after losing his ear and not knowing about Ron and Bill, and returning to the castle after the battle, not knowing what awaited him when he entered the Great Hall.  
He feels the immense sadness and hopelessness that he felt for his little sister back then and knows that that’s what it has been like for her since Fred died. But for her it won’t be over after one night. And this is what she will feel when he is gone. And his heart breaks for her. There is no way for his siblings to know how he feels, because he doesn’t understand it himself. He has no meanings of grasping his own pain. But he has an idea of theirs. And he breaks down there and then. And weeps for his sister’s loss. His mother comes to his side and holds him. He hears his voice in his own sobs for the first time in months. It sounds raw and broken, just as he feels. His mother cries with him. For the first time he can feel her grief, and he cries for her loss, and for his father who has seen so much pain that he would give up his own son to prevent more of it.  
And George decides to live. Because he will be damned if he causes any more grief to this family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are having thoughts about suicide, please talk to an adult you trust or find resources online. If you're from Germany you can visit https://www.u25-deutschland.de/  
> Stay safe!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you liked it, please leave kudos and comments.


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